I
often am asked to tell my vocation story, and sometimes
the hearers are a bit disappointed at how ordinary it is.
There are no great signs from the heavens, no apparitions,
no miracles. However, I believe what seems to be the ordinary
things in life are truly extraordinary if only they are
paid attention to. When we pay attention to the stirrings
in our hearts and the events of our daily lives we become
more and more aware that it is in little, ordinary things
that God is communicating to us. Nothing is more extraordinary
than to hear the voice of God and believe!
The
story of my vocation, of course, begins with my family.
We were not an especially pious family, but church and prayer
were a regular part of our lives. We attended Mass every
Sunday and my brother and sisters and I went to CCD every
Tuesday. My parents were volunteers in the church as were
my grandparents, and most of my family were employed in
some form of service to the community. My Dad worked with
the mentally handicapped; my Mom gave great service to her
children and parish as a stay at home mom; my Grandmom was
a nurse and my Mommom was a teacher; my Poppop was a policeman
and my Grandpop a deacon in the Methodist church. My family
taught me that faith was important and serving God’s
people was the natural fruit of belief.
I
went through many phases of belief myself, beginning with
complete acceptance of whatever my family and the church
taught. Acceptance flowed into wonder and awe at the stories
and customs of the Catholic faith. I was mesmerized by Eucharistic
processions and stories of Marian apparitions. After a period
of time, the wonder faded and the questions began. What
is this church all about? Who is this God we believe in?
Why do I believe? WHAT do I believe? I was troubled and
intrigued by these questions and the quest for the answers
set me on a path that would lead to my life’s vocation.
As
a high school student I did not abandon my faith or forget
my questions, but I did not pursue either of them with much
fervor. I was enjoying my time, performing in plays, hanging
out with friends, and working to save money for a trip overseas
after graduation. I did not forget about this God who so
intrigued me, but I was too preoccupied to put much energy
into figuring things out! However, it was on my overseas
trip that I had a reawakening of my desire to know God.
I
went on a backpacking trip through England that summer with
a friend of mine from work. We went to visit the Royal Botanical
Gardens. It was a hot day and I sat down to rest on a bench
in the shade while my friend went to get some water. The
bush that shaded me from the sun was covered with tiny,
delicate, purple flowers. I looked at these flowers with
admiration for the detail and thought how wonderful it was
that God took such great care to make these flowers so beautiful,
and yet one would hardly notice their beauty unless the
time was taken to look up close and pay attention to them.
I wanted to pick one of these flowers to crush and dry in
my journal, but knew the strict rules about not taking things
from the Gardens. As I gazed at one tiny flower it fell
straight from the branch into my open hand. At that moment
I was filled with a profound sense of God’s presence.
Something about that tiny gift opened me up to the knowledge
that God was listening to me, present at every moment, and
was interested in what I thought and felt and desired and
questioned. God was not only listening but responding. This
ordinary act of a flower falling from its branch became
like a miracle when God’s presence permeated the event.
I knew in my depths what God was communicating to me. “I
felt your heart move at the wonder of my Creation. This
small flower turned your thoughts toward me and that fills
me with joy. Take this gift and remember that I am listening
and I want you to know me and love me as I know and love
you.”
The
following fall I began my freshman year at Marywood University
in Scranton, PA. During my years as a student at Marywood,
I did not forget my flower and the God who so graciously
gave it to me. I continued to seek God and serve God. I
became involved in different prayer experiences and participated
in service trips. I attended the liturgies and retreats
that were offered by Marywood and loved belonging to a community
of believers and exploring my relationship with God. Throughout
this journey of faith, service and exploration there were
some wonderful women who accompanied and encouraged the
students as teachers, mentors and friends. They were the
IHM Sisters. I was drawn to their warmth and their depth.
I was excited that there was a group of people who dedicated
their lives to the very things that I had the most passion
and energy for: knowing God, serving God, and sharing that
knowledge and service creatively and joyfully in a committed
community. During my junior year in college I began exploring
the possibility of also dedicating my life to God as a Sister,
Servant of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
After
several years of discernment, I entered the community in
2004 and have been on an amazing adventure ever since! I
have been lead to people and places I could never have dreamed
for myself and have come to know God in surprising and delightful
ways. The memory of discovering God’s gift of presence
wrapped in a little purple flower continues to be a thread
that holds my story together. As I prepared to take my vows
in the summer of 2007, I was not at all surprised when I
found that my first mission as a professed member of the
IHM community was to be, appropriately, Little Flower School.
God’s gift continues!
